Monday, November 24, 2003
Perhaps perhaps perhaps..
I had got over
her
Don't know..
Maybe
Remember once i told
you something?
Every four of you had an unique name for yourselves
Had
you found
yours?
Remember..
No matter what..
These unique names belong to each one of you
Including
you
And no one can rob them away..
No one..and never..
Someone else..
Not
her
But this you..
Maybe..you are reading this..
Because you are one of the only four who could enter my blog..
Erm..
You know how much i miss you?
Deep down my heart..
I had wished so much that we are still that close..
Things like going out stoning almost everyday..
Going your house..sleeping..
All these things..
I miss them..i really do..
But now..
Whenever i look at my phone..
When i scroll to your name..
They no more looked so special to me..
They no "shine"..
I even forgot..which no. should i call..and which no. should i message..
And everytime..
I wish to talk
You are no more the one..
Who can chit chat with my through the whole night
I miss your voice..
I truely do..
Do you know..
Today
When i was collecting my poster
The person's voice was just so familiar..
I thought you came back
I thought i'd called the wrong no.
I thought..
But no..you never
What kind of friends should i classify you as?
I don't know..
Because you are no more close
You are no more there when i need you
You are no more the one i know
My long lost buddy?
No..because i know you are still there
Because you are nowhere lost
Everytime
When i'm reading your blog
I felt this pain
The pain when you see your friend in trouble
Yet you couldn't help
The pain
When you know you could help
But you just can't
Because you are too far
The kind of pain
When you realised that this buddy of yours
Left you..no more close to your heart
This kind of pain
Make your tears..just drop uncontrollablely
I suddenly realised...
The no. of friends you have
The no. of close friends you have
That you have long forget this friend
Who need you alot..when you are no there
Sometimes..
I really had this very selfish thinking
I hoped so much..
That you were still the hurting and collapsing one
You were the one i knew from the very first
Such that you belong only to me
At least..
I know..whenever i'm sad
Whenever i'm alone
Whenever i'm lost..
Or empty..
There is someone there with me crying
There is still a shoulder for me to cry on..
But those are just thoughts
Thoughts that i'll never carry them out
Because..i just want you happy..
I just want you to smile..
Like an angel..
Who never belong to me anymore
But i just want you to remember..
All those things that we had done..
The first place that we meet each other
The first time that i went to your house
The time when i taught you these blogger thing
The time when you ate my tarts that i made
The time that we were in my class
The time when i gave you a box of self-made cookies
The time when we chatted about our life
The time that we cried
The time you treated me cakes, drinks and everything
The first time you gave me your photos
The time when i rushed to your house to watch tv
The first time that i hugged you
The first time when you smoked in front of me
The time when i called you mummy..
The time when i called you daddy..
My dear friend..
Could you still remember all these
These are memories that we shared
Maybe you had long forgotten them
But they are..down my heart..
Every single of them
Do you understand why..
I kept wanting a present from you?
Because i just want to keep this memory of yours
At least one thing that made me have the memory of you
When you decided to leave my life..
I love you..
As a friend..
As a friend who used to understand me thorough out
<= Fr0zen* Tears* =>
11/24/2003 07:46:00 AM
