Friday, April 25, 2003
[Drained]
Feeling
so exhausted..
How much courage have I to had to face
someone that used to hurt me so deep
Now to face this person
I had not only so face
her
I still need to
encourage her
To
comfort her
To get her out from the mess
Do anyone know how much courage had I to apply to it
The courage to face hurtings again
The courage to put away all the past
The courage to enter a world that might hurts again
I feel
so exhausted
So tired
So drained
& I'm helping
someone who used to hurt me so deeply
[6 of March, 2003, 2nd entry, last para]
Remember the angel in that entry?
It's
her
The one who
hurts so much..
The one who
left with her
The one who left me
alone to shoulder all things
The one who
hurts me so deeply
The one I'm supposedly to hate
But now
This angel came back
Telling me that
she got
hurt
Telling me that
she hurted her
Telling me that she couldn't get over
And now
I had to
Console
Comfort
Talk
Sms
Chat
With someone who used to
hurt me so deep
All the courage
All the strength
That I had to deal with this problem
Made me had totally no energy left to survive
To survive in this world
Why to come back only when hurt
Hui Min..it hurts..
ni jian jue, bu xi wang wo deng dai
wo bian mo mo de rang ni zhou kai
ru jing ni, shou le sang hui lai
jiao wo ru he jie shou zhe an pai
<= Fr0zen* Tears* =>
4/25/2003 08:59:00 AM
Thursday, April 24, 2003
[Almost]
I almost wanted to
end my life today
I had
lost all the wills to live
I had
lost all meanings to live
I
don't know what is for me to
treasure anymore
Everyone is so
superficial
So
superficial
Till I'm so
afraid to live in this world
I'm so scared to
live in this world
I just wish to end..
To end everything..
I
don't wish to bother anymore
Not anymore..
<= Fr0zen* Tears* =>
4/24/2003 05:48:00 AM
[For the 3 her]
You had asked..
Why i turned away..
Why..why..why..
You should know..
Never ask why for this kind of questions..
Because you
jolly well know the answer..
I never want to look into that innocent eyes
I don't know how to face you
I never want to be remind of that hurting memories
I had to avoid you
Because I
don't want to get hurt from you anymore...
For you..Hui Min..
How cruel can you get..
So cruel that I
never wish that I had known you
Why to give me that cruel eyes?
Why?
Why to give me cold shoulder when you jolly well know I still like you so much..
Why to "dao" me when you jolly well know that I need you so much..
Why to walk away when you jolly well know I wish so much that you could talk to me..
Why to hug in front of me when you jolly well know that I will get hurt..
Why to stop answering all my questions in your blog when you jolly when know that I need it more than anything..
Why to act so stranger to me when you jolly well know that I never want that..
Why to stop caring when you jolly well know that I really need that from you..
Why to do things like nobodies business when you jolly well know that I always care..
Do you know
how much you had hurted me today?
With all the
cold, cruel & hurting actions from you?
You are just right in front..I'm just right behind..
Why to act as if I'm a stranger?
Why to act as if I'm don't exist?
Am I really just
nobody?
Will
my death just bring my presence to you?
For you...Jinger..
I
don't understand what is going on with
you and her
Both of you walked separate ways
Both of you ignored when you meet
Had something happened between
both of you?
I hope not..
I don't wish her to be hurt
Either do I wish you to be hurt
But I know...
That's
nothing I can do about this
Because I'm just an outsider in this thing..
But really..
She's a nice girl..really nice girl..
Do treasure her..don't hurt her..
For you..Liyun..
<= Fr0zen* Tears* =>
4/24/2003 05:25:00 AM
Wednesday, April 23, 2003
The cut that appear because of you
The tears that you forced out
The blood that bleed for you
The hurt that you casted on me
The memories that the scars remind
The everything that you have bring it on to me
You are the one who brought all these
The tears
The cuts
The wounds
The memories
The blood
The hurts
Yet you are not the one
Who heal it
Who clear it
But frankly
You are the
only one to do all these
The scars that never heal
The memories that will never disappear
The wounds that never heal
The tears that will never stop dropping
The loneliness in my heart that never disappear
The missing of you that will never gone
All the things concern you
Never will they come off my thoughts
Times and times
I really wish that things never had turned out so badly
Till everything
Every single things that I treasure never to happen again
Every single tears I drop you will never know why anymore
Every single memories that we used to share don't exist anymore
Every single scars I cut for you don't mean any single things again
Every single concern I wanted to show you will never see it anymore
Every single quarrels we used to have never exist again
But
Every single love for you will never disappear
Every single love for you will stay on forever
Every single love for you will stay till my death
Dedicated to Liyun [the only her in this world]
<= Fr0zen* Tears* =>
4/23/2003 02:40:00 AM
Sunday, April 20, 2003
What Friend of Mine are You? Take the Quiz!
made by goddessofsouls
<= Fr0zen* Tears* =>
4/20/2003 08:19:00 AM
